Colleen Hauk is a best selling author and executive coach, I’m grateful to share her powerful message with you on today’s show. Colleen helps us accept our full vision, empowers us to live the ‘AND’ life (you’ll see!) and offers some great strategies on how to get started. We CAN have it all my friend, let’s talk more about it.

To contact Colleen and access her amazing resources, visit her WEBSITE here.

I appreciate you listening, and always love to hear what helps you the most in the comment section.

Here’s the transcript and below I’ve included a downloadable version as a resource!

Becca Starr: Welcome to Beautiful You. I’m here with Colleen Hauk. Welcome, Colleen.

Colleen Hauk: Thank you, Becca, for having me. I’m excited to be here.

Becca Starr: You are one of my very first guests on Beautiful You, and you’re the perfect first guest because you share the most valuable tips and strategies for living an extraordinary life. I am so honored to have you here. Colleen, you’re a best-selling author, an amazing speaker, and an executive coach. You’re a wife and a mom. I sometimes wonder how other women seem to do it. I’d love for you to tell us more about how you got here. It wasn’t always so balanced and fun like it seems to be now. Could you share how your personal journey led you to this chapter in your life?

Colleen Hauk: Absolutely. You’re right on that it hasn’t always been that way, and it certainly has been a journey. I was raised by two loving parents in southern California, and I grew up watching my mom as a full-time nurse. She was Wonder Woman in my eyes. She worked full time, yet she came home and took care of the household and took me to all of my practices and activities that I participated in. She always seemed to always do it with a smile. That was my role model growing up, and I was really excited to have that same life.

Colleen Hauk: It seemed I was on that path, and through a couple of career transitions, I started off as an elementary school teacher and then moved into sales. At my most recent company where I ended up spending about 11.5 years, during that time going into 2013, I was offered a promotion. This was the one promotion I was really excited for, yet through all of that excitement, I really failed to evaluate the requirements it was going to have on myself as well as my family, what it was going to mean for all of us. I ended up taking on nearly another person’s full-time workload in addition to the extra requirements for me.

Colleen Hauk: I went into 2013 with more than I could possibly manage, yet I am one of those who does not want to fail. I don’t want to let myself down or the company I’m working for, and so I sacrificed pretty much everything in my own personal life. That included sleep, so I was only sleeping about four, five hours a night in order to manage this 60-plus hour work week and travel on top of it. I sacrificed my own health. My husband and I literally became roommates throughout the week. My children at the time were younger, and they just witnessed an extremely unhappy, impatient mom. I mean, I was screaming constantly at my children, and I hate to admit that, but that’s the life that was going on. We suffered through that for about 12 months until I hit that breaking point in December of 2013 where I recognized that I could not continue living in this way nor could my family, quite frankly. That was kind of the onset.

Becca Starr: Did you quit your job?

Colleen Hauk: That night in my office and how it came about was I was supposed to be attending a women’s networking holiday party, yet I was stuck in the office making some last-minute changes to some business plans and found myself being the last person in the office at 7:00, 8:00 at night, and just broke down hysterically crying. At that moment, because I was so lost in my way, I was so upset, I thought my only option was to quit my job. That night in my office, that’s what I thought the answer was.

Colleen Hauk: I’m so fortunate that I had a wonderful, very close friend of mine who had happened to become a coach not too long prior to that. I reached out to her for help, but as you mentioned, Becca, that’s what I was reaching out to her for was for her to help me quit my job. For those people who know me, that’s completely not who I am. I am not a stay-at-home mom. That’s just, it’s not in my DNA, but again, I, at that moment with all of that frustration, I just didn’t know how else I was going to get through it.

Becca Starr: How was it affecting your family?

Colleen Hauk: As I mention, my husband and I were like roommates. I mean, it was roommates, business partners, however, you want to frame it up. There was no excitement. It was just, “How do we manage the household? How do we get through the day to day?” The story that I often share just to put it into perspective is I would come home each evening and pull my car into the garage, and on the other side of the door, I could hear my husband and my children laughing, yet the moment I opened the door and walked in, it was silent.

Colleen Hauk: My husband later shared with me, and as painful as it was to hear, I’m so glad he shared this with me, but he said, “That moment you walked in, we were all in high alert.” They were on high alert because they didn’t know which mom was coming home. Was it the mom who was going to give them a hug or the mom that was going to yell at them for leaving socks in the middle of the family room, so-

Becca Starr: The stressed out mom, the overwhelmed mom. Yeah.

Colleen Hauk: Absolutely. I gave every ounce of my energy to my job, and so by the time I got home, I just, there was no covering up anymore. I just, I had to let go because I did, I covered up at work, the stress that I was going through. Nobody at work had any clue I was suffering in the way that I was.

Becca Starr: It’s very interesting to me because I’m coming from the other end of the spectrum, and in between, there are so many women with unique desires and personalities and families and dynamics. Maybe we have a desire to stay home more with our children, or we have a desire to have our own business, or we want to start a business or go back into the workforce.

Colleen Hauk: Right. It’s so important that as we move into these different phases of life that this thing, if you will, of what is having it all? Can we have it all? Is this true or not? There are definitely different opinions about whether or not you can, but my critical step first for women is to define personally what having it all means to them as an individual because not everybody desires the same thing. As you mentioned, some women want to have their own business, some women want to work from home, some women want to be in the traditional corporate world, and so what is having it all mean to you as an individual?

Colleen Hauk: I share that if I defined having it all by someone else’s standards, then I would be a failure. We often do that. We often define what that looks like based on whether it was our parents’ definition as we were being raised, by colleagues, by society in general, but it’s starting at that foundation of what is it that you really want in your life because, as you mentioned at the beginning of the call, I do a lot of things, and some people look at me and think, “She’s crazy,” but that’s part of what I want to be doing with my life. Defining having it all for yourself is the critical first step in finding what that balance will look like.

Becca Starr: I’m very curious. Once we define what success looks like to us personally, not to anybody else, no one else’s opinions matter, we’ve defined it, and this is what it looks like, how do we be successful at that? What are secrets to doing it? Any strategies or tips you have to actually make that goal or that desire a, excuse me, a reality?

Colleen Hauk: Yeah, so before I share a couple more of those, I definitely want to address what you mentioned, Becca, that there is, to me in my personal opinion, no right or wrong whether you choose to be a full-time stay-at-home mom or you choose to do both. I call it the “and” life, having the career and having a happy, healthy personal life being a mom. There’s no right or wrong, whichever you choose to live. I’m just, I’m a huge advocate for women who want to choose to the “and” life, who recognize that there is something to be said about keeping your own personal identity outside of being a wife or a mom. There is something to be said about having your own ability to support yourself financially because, at some point, your children are going to become adults, and as parents, our responsibility is to raise independent children. Once they become independent, where does that leave you as a woman?

Colleen Hauk: Again, I offer that there’s no right or wrong and there’s no judgment. I’m just here to support those who choose to want to live that “and” life.

Becca Starr: Such a great way to look at it, the “and” life.

Colleen Hauk: Absolutely, because as I mention, when I hit that breaking point and called my girlfriend Kate who’s a coach, and she said to me, “Why do you have to choose one or the other? Why can’t you have both?” As I mentioned, I just, I couldn’t see how that was possible. Once you define what you do want to have that “and” life, I believe the next step is recognizing that happiness will lead to the success and not the other way around. Let me build on that.

Colleen Hauk: I think as we are younger, and we’re going through life, we set goals for ourselves, whether that’s your goal of graduating high school and then maybe a goal to graduate college, then your goal to land your first job. You continue to set these goals, but each time you hit a goal, you move the goal post. That’s absolutely what you should do to continue to grow and advance yourself, but oftentimes, people also put their happiness on to that goal, that, “Once I graduate high school, then I will be happy,” “Once I graduate college, then I will be happy.”

Colleen Hauk: Well, if you keep putting your happiness as a depending factor on reaching that goal, then, in theory, you’ll never be happy because you just keep moving the goal post. Instead, we need to figure out ways to generate our own happiness and recognize that the happier we are each and every day, the more likely we are to reach those goals, to hit those milestones for achievement and success. I think that oftentimes we get stuck because we have so much going on and we’re trying to do everything and you haven’t defined what it all means to you. Understanding that, number one, define what having it all means to you, and then number two, how can you be happy within your current state and continue to generate that happiness to move yourself to the next level.

Colleen Hauk: Look, I’m a realist here. I’m not saying you need to be happy every single waking moment and every single thing that you do. I’m not super excited that I just did four loads of laundry yesterday. I mean, let’s be real, right? I’m not implying that every moment is going to be happy, but when you understand the concept, and stop waiting for that next thing to happen in order for you to be happy, “I need to be happy today, I’m responsible for my own happiness, and that is what is going to lead me to those future things.”

Becca Starr: Once we align our feeling state … This is something I talk about a lot. It’s one of the main principles of The BITMOR Method. Once we are aligned with that real joy, the positivity, it’s empowering, and it actually has the ability to naturally attract situations that are in alignment with that and new people and ideas that will make it a lot easier if we can just stay in touch with that and do what we can to stay connected to our happiness.

Colleen Hauk: Yes, and that really was a lot of the first work I did with my coach after that breaking point, she introduced me to meditation, which I was the typical corporate executive woman, black and white. When she mentioned meditation, I’m picturing hippies sitting in a flower field, but I do have an open mind and recognized in order for true change to occur, you’ve gotta be willing to change your mindset and change your practices, so I did.

Colleen Hauk: I was open to meditation, but I was very specific on what that looked like for me. Those first few weeks of meditation were asking myself what makes me happy. That’s all I did. It was like peeling back the layers and going back to every single situation I could possibly think of, of times when I was happy. When I started to put those puzzle pieces together, I started trying to incorporate more of those pieces just in my everyday life. When I did that, when I was happier, I was not only feeling more fulfilled but, of course, then my family was feeling happier and seeing a different sight of mom. The family dynamics absolutely started to change, but the ironic piece is, with incorporating that into my job, I got promoted again at that same company, plus I became certified for coaching and launched my business.

Colleen Hauk: Here I was taking on even more, but I was the happiest I had been, even in years. It’s becoming in-tune with that and building that in, and as you mentioned, it’s amazing the people and the thoughts and the situations that do appear in front of you when you’re putting that out there.

Becca Starr: Right. I mean, it seems like magic, but it really is one of the laws of our universe as we stay connected to a certain feeling state, which takes some control over what we’re thinking really does help with that. I know that it’s something, whether you believe in the law of attraction or not, it will happen. You will attract situations. If you just embrace it and embody feel-good stating of being then you really just have it happen a lot quicker, a lot smoother, a lot easier than you can even imagine.

Becca Starr: My mind has been blown quite often about, “Oh my gosh. This just happened.” I was practicing one of Jack Canfield’s, his amazing book, The Success-

Colleen Hauk: The-

Becca Starr: … Skills?

Colleen Hauk: … Success, Success Principles?

Becca Starr: Success Principles, and-

Colleen Hauk: Yes.

Becca Starr: … really getting my mind straight every morning. I had just signed, this was when I was in the spa industry, and I had just signed a new hotel account. It was a really big win for me. I turned around, and in the hotel lobby, excuse me, lobby, saying goodbye to the manager, turned around, and there is Jack Canfield-

Colleen Hauk: Oh-

Becca Starr: … right in front of me.

Colleen Hauk: … my goodness. Oh, my goodness.

Becca Starr: I got to thank him personally and tell him, “I just signed this hotel as an account because I’ve been practicing your principles. I get to thank you personally.” Of course, I mean, that is not a coincidence. It’s just an example of all of the many millions of things that could happen when we align ourselves properly, and whatever that means to you, it’s a very personal thing.

Colleen Hauk: Yes. Yes. I would offer that once you’ve aligned, and I know, Becca, you would agree, that it’s then getting into action, it’s-

Becca Starr: Absolutely.

Colleen Hauk: It’s not sitting and just thinking these things. That was another lesson for me. As I mentioned, I didn’t want anyone at work to know how badly I had been suffering that year. I was surrounded by these unbelievably strong, savvy women who always seemed to have it all together. I was scared to open up that I was struggling because I couldn’t see that they were. When I finally started to work on myself and recognize the things that were making me happy and really get into the action, I decided to finally open up to a colleague of mine.

Colleen Hauk: I’ll never forget this morning. I’m standing in the doorway of her office, and I’m sharing with her how challenged I had been and how I’d experienced so many times of frustration and how I was responding to my family, and but the work I was doing. She just sat there staring at me for the longest time. Finally, I stopped talking because I thought, she’s either freaking out and going to run out and tell somebody that I was ready to quit my job … I just, I didn’t know what this silence was. She finally says to me, “I’m so sorry for sitting here staring at you. It’s just, it’s as if I’m looking in a mirror. You,”-

Becca Starr: Aww.

Colleen Hauk: … “are saying exactly how I’ve been feeling.” Again, it just caused me to recognize that number one, we’re not in this alone. All of the things that you believe are only your struggles, I guarantee you, they are not. Number two, when you just get out there and start sharing and talking about your struggles, your happiness, whatever that may be, when you get into action, that’s when things do start to come to you, but you’ve gotta share how you’re feeling and what you’re doing. Whether that’s good or bad, you gotta put it out there.

Becca Starr: Right. I mean, we do not have to do it on our own. Our weaknesses or our experience is actually a strength, and it’s empowering for others. Like this woman’s experience, your colleague, she probably was looking at you thinking she could never share what she was really feeling because you have it altogether Just by you just cracking into what your exterior had been and going a little deeper, and then being willing to be a little courageous or vulnerable, you helped her, I am sure, so much. We all need each other. We’re not here to be living in bubbles and to do it all by yourself.

Colleen Hauk: Yes. Yes. I think there are so many women out there who are suffering in such a way that I was. It is my mission to help those women get out of that before they hit that breaking point like I did. I find that a lot of them either, number one, they just think, “Well, this is how my life is supposed to be.” They’ve always been overachievers in theirs, whether it was in their scholastics or now their career, and once they’re married with kids, they just think, “Well, gosh. This is how it’s supposed to be. I’m supposed to just feel this crazy busy,” the phrase I hear all the time, or they think something’s wrong with them, that they just haven’t figured out how to get through it, or they think they’re so busy, they don’t have time to go find the answer.

Colleen Hauk: That’s absolutely where I try to intervene and say, “Look. It doesn’t have to be this way. You are not going at this alone.” If you just take a small amount of time to learn some of what those answers are, it will save you not just time, but the stress and the inevitable of what will happen if you continue down this path because I will share that it is not a matter of what’s going to happen, it’s just when and where because-

Becca Starr: Exactly.

Colleen Hauk: … eventually, it leads to the extreme of heart attacks, heart disease, divorce. I mean, I hear the countless stories. Again, it’s not a matter of if it’s going to happen, it’s just when if you don’t get this under control.

Becca Starr: If you read my About page, my own personal experience, I was very successful in my industry for almost 20 years, and I knew for the last three years of it, I had the desire, the urge, the discontentment knowing it was time to move on, but I didn’t know what else to do. It just was so hard because I was good at it. It was familiar. I think jumping off the cliff and thinking we need to make one big huge decision that’s going to change everything is, I think that’s misleading because we don’t need to quit our jobs. We don’t need to change everything in one week. We just need to start being willing and courageous enough to take steps in the direction of our dreams, in the direction of what makes us happier. It was a very hard decision for me, but what ended up happening was I, the universe made it for me, and it was painful. It was very painful.

Becca Starr: Like you said, it could be a heart attack, it could be diabetes if we’re looking at our health and ignoring things about what we know we really need or things we know, behaviors we know we need to change. It will always lead to somewhere. It just depends on where you’re heading, what direction you’re faced in.

Colleen Hauk: Yes. You brought up such a good point, Becca, that it doesn’t require a one-time huge leap. That change can happen with small shifts over time. So many women in these circumstances, like you said, they believe that … I was one of them. How my life was, I felt like the only answer was to quit my job. I mean, that’s a huge leap, and I thought that was the answer; instead, the answer was just these small shifts that I was making over the course of three months, six months, 12 months, but each and every small little thing that I was doing was compounding to end up making a huge change. I didn’t have to make that big leap.

Colleen Hauk: I know that women, again, in these circumstances think, “Well, okay. I, again, I’m so crazy busy. I don’t have enough time to even survive. How are you telling me now I need to take time to do these small shifts?” They just don’t see how it’s possible. That’s a lot of what I focus on with my clients is sitting down and breaking out what their schedule looks like today to find those places where we can create that time, or I shouldn’t say create time. We can’t create time, but create the opportunities within that time structure to make those small changes because that’s my third critical step is, you mentioned at the beginning of us getting together, that I do a lot. For many people, it’s like, “How do you do all of that?” It really is about designing my week and investing time up front to plan and organize and schedule, like I said, really design what my week is going to look like so that I can get all of that down.

Becca Starr: I was very curious about that. This is one of the secrets to managing my small family of four with a lot of activities, making sure we have time for family time and date night and different things that are really important to us. I would love to hear more about that because when I am committed to it … It’s something I started at the end of last year. It is so powerful for me, but what happened was in January, because we were all together, we were traveling, we got back here to Los Angeles, and we were living our lives, vacation was happening, I did not plan our schedule. I usually do it for the month so that I have a pretty clear idea of what’s coming up in the month. It’s week by week, and I actually made a spreadsheet because, no matter what, I have yet to find the perfect calendar program. This works really well for me, but I didn’t use it in January.

Becca Starr: I felt so overwhelmed. I kept feeling like I was behind and missing things and realizing like, “Oh my gosh. I forgot that or this,” and, “Oh no. We didn’t do this thing that’s important to us.” What happened was by the end of the month, I’ll be honest with you, I was depressed. I had just felt, I felt like my house was getting messier and things were just not organized.

Becca Starr: Now I have spent the last five years really somehow without a calendar. I am just with my kids. I mean, he only started preschool just last September, so I could’ve used it, and it would’ve been really helpful, but I didn’t even have it up until a few months ago. The one month I didn’t use it was insane. Please, tell all of us about planning or time management, any strategies we can really put to use to create this extraordinary life.

Colleen Hauk: Gosh, I’ve been using some sort of system for nearly 25 years. I mean, it started for me when I was in college and recognizing as midterms or finals were approaching. I was in a sorority, and I worked, and I had internships. That was really the first time in my life I was recognizing I had a lot on my plate and started using different organizational systems.

Colleen Hauk: Now, the one thing I will mention because, Becca, you brought it up, is that it really doesn’t matter what tool you use, whether you design a spreadsheet or you use your outlook calendar. I’ve used all of them, and actually, quite frankly, I use, I still do use pretty much all of them still today all at the same time because they serve different purposes.

Colleen Hauk: But the first key though is understanding you do have to take the time to do it. I think that’s the biggest hurdle is everyone feels like they’re so busy. They don’t want to take the time, but I am telling you, my recommendation is to spend a Saturday or Sunday, I prefer Sundays, getting ready for the week, and you can knock this out when you start to get into the rhythm in about 20 minutes. It might take you 45 minutes to an hour to start at the beginning, but it really is about designing your week.

Colleen Hauk: I started off very slowly when I first became a mom. When I married my husband Matt, I became a mom to his son Jordan, and Jordan was only, let’s see, by the time we got married, about 9 or 10 years old. I just started with meal planning. It wasn’t mealed prep. I wasn’t preparing all of our meals. It was just planning out what dinners we were going to have during the week based on the schedule.

Colleen Hauk: Now, today, because I have two of my own children at home, and we have baseball and theater and voice lessons, and I’m a group exercise instructor, I teach at the gym two days a week, we have a lot of things going on. I now plan and design for everything. I love to sit down and do an exercise that I call brain dumping. Sit down and look ahead at the week. You know what your foundation is. You know, hey, we’ve got a kid’s birthday party coming up on Saturday, we’ve got this celebration or this field trip. You know what those foundational things are, so brain dump all of the things that you need to either buy or do or be in contact with for those activities and put those on a master list.

Colleen Hauk: Then choose, I recommend, three of those things that you need to do and designate those three for each day. Each day, you’re going to have three new things. You’re kind of taking that master list and breaking it out into small steps, but it’s being intentional. It’s really about looking at your week, taking the time to plan it out, and know where everyone’s going to be and what are those to-dos you need to get done. As you mentioned, that one month you didn’t do it, you were running around frantic. Again, that’s what I always emphasize is, take the time up front because it will save you time on the backend, plus then you will enjoy the time that you’re then having during the week so much more.

Colleen Hauk: I had a similar situation. A few years ago, I’ll never forget, it was May. I was looking ahead at our summer. I, not joking, every single weekend during our summer, we had something going on. In addition, we were going to have big vacations for the week. I had to sit down and do this brain dump exercise and plan out every single day and every week what was going to happen, but I tell you, I then got to sit back and relax and enjoy these times during those events and at those weekends because I planned ahead for it versus scrambling 15 minutes beforehand to get something done. It really, it’s being in intention and taking the time up front to design your week.

Becca Starr: It’s worth every second. You mentioned something that I have found to be the most valuable gift that we can give ourselves and to those around us. I’ll be honest with you, I believe I only learned it after becoming a mother, and that is to be present. Be present in the moment that we are in. It is so easy to let our minds be distracted, our phone’s distracting us and all of the things to do and shouldas and couldas. All of these things that fill our minds and take us out of the present moment, it does not serve us. It’s a gift to be able to like you use that technique of brain dumping, and then really setting up your schedule and planning and organizing your life with intention, which means you get to enjoy all of these moments. If we don’t write things down, usually, they ramble around in our heads, so literally writing things down is a very simple technique to let it go. We’ve recorded it if we need the information, and we can move on and hopefully get more present and more joyful in the moments that we have.

Colleen Hauk: Yes. Yes. When you write it down on that master list, it’s vital then to schedule it. Where does that go? You may end up with things on that when you’ve brain-dumped and have that master list that you recognize, “Oh, those could be delegated to other people.” Once you have that written down, you’ve got to schedule it. Once it’s on the schedule, like you said, Becca, you can let go of that because you know, “Oh gosh. I don’t need to be thinking about that or worrying about that right now. It’s scheduled for Thursday. I’m going to take care of that on Thursday,” and that does allow you to be more in the moment.

Colleen Hauk: I recently, I mean, literally just a couple of days ago, I had a conversation with a woman who, she does this. She schedules everything, yet she was almost feeling guilty for not being spontaneous enough. I shared with her that … Well, first of all, I asked her, “Why do you want to be spontaneous?” She said, “Well, I just feel like because I want to have fun,” but I mentioned or asked, “Aren’t you having fun, though, in your moments with your family because it’s already scheduled? You already have everything done, so you’re already having that fun.” 

Colleen Hauk: It’s being intentional. You don’t need the spontaneity. The spontaneity, if that’s going on too often, it’s probably leading to chaos and not actually turning into fun. It’s the intention, that time up front. I just, I can’t emphasize that enough that if you’re sitting here thinking that I don’t have time to do that, you are absolutely missing what the opportunities are in front of you.

Becca Starr: Right, and it is, it’s just a really cool thing because it is actually allowing for more spontaneity, and if we were to choose the alternative, I think we would quickly see how that really isn’t the way to balance a lot. I love … I mean, Colleen, you really understand the challenges of balancing career and lifestyle. You get it. These are such powerful messages for women to hear because we are all Wonder Women. This gives me my super powers. It’s worth every second. It’s worth everything to me, but what I’m going to use it for now is the brain dump, and then take it a little further, and I have a calendar that I’d love to use again. I’m going to pull that out and really use that as my daily up-to-date, so there’s another step involved there because you’re not the first successful woman that has shared that they use multiple calendar organization tools. Sometimes, I think, eh, keep it simple, I don’t need more, but I think there’s something to it.

Colleen Hauk: I use multiple because they serve different purposes, and quite frankly, it’s not that it really takes me that much more time. What’s interesting I think when you go through the brain dump exercise and you start to break out your three things each day and you take time to plan out your day, that’s when you also start to realize when you may have too much on your plate. That’s when you need to take it a step further, and that’s what I also coach on. How do you delegate? How do you plan? Maybe you need to schedule that for a later date, or how do you, quite frankly, stop doing that?

Colleen Hauk: I belong to a wonderful networking group, but I needed to make room on my schedule for things that were going to better align with who I was working to become. Even though that networking group was good, I needed things that were going to be great, and so I had to stop. I had to say no. For so many women, it’s hard to say no, but man, if you can’t fit what you need to on your schedule, then that’s when you gotta reprioritize, quite frankly, and-

Becca Starr: It really is about letting go. That is my Monday Motivation podcast that just aired this morning. It’s not about doing more, doing things even different. It’s really truly about letting go about who you aren’t, things that you feel responsible for that you’re really not. It’s not about doing more. We can easily think it’s about doing more, and I’ve always said we are not human doings. We’re human beings. The more we can just let go and release what’s not really us, what doesn’t feel really good, that’s how we get to be more powerful. It’s an amazing thing once we can really start to become aware of, “Huh, that actually doesn’t feel right.” If it doesn’t feel right, there’s a really good chance it’s not right.

Colleen Hauk: Yeah, I mean, what legacy do you want to leave behind? Running around and trying to do every single thing because you can’t say no? I mean, what is that leaving behind for you? What’s important for your children to see? How are people going to remember you? Again, especially as women, women have a hard time saying no. Then even when they do say no, they often say, “No, because,” and they offer some sort of excuse.

Colleen Hauk: You have more power when you can say no versus when you say yes to everything. That is actually a very powerless move to always say yes. Take control, know, again, know what having it all means to you as an individual. Who do you want to be today? I love, Becca, that saying, “We’re human beings.” Who is it you want to be today? What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? Align your priorities with those things and be okay with just saying no.

Becca Starr: It’s really, it works against you, and it’s actually not the best you can do for this world, so just to remember that for your higher purpose. Just, all you have to do is just step a little bit more into the courage of no, the willingness of saying no.

Becca Starr: Do you have any resources to offer my listeners? I’d love to offer a free downloadable, some kind of a resource for them.

Colleen Hauk: Absolutely. For the listeners, they’ll have a free download that aligns to a lot of what I shared today about how to get some of that time back because, reality is, you and me both have the same amount of 24 hours in a day, so how do you use the time that’s in front of you? If … They’ll have that more as a download and a reference guide to refer back to. Then on my website, I offer free videos, whether it’s a quick two-minute tip on time management or getting a lot of these things under control that we talked about today, so yes-

Becca Starr: Excellent.

Colleen Hauk: … that’ll be available.

Becca Starr: At colleenhauk.com, and I will put that in the show notes. I will put a link to the free download, and please, let’s end with the book, Women who Ignite. Tell us more about it.

Colleen Hauk: I mentioned obviously my coach who’s my dear friend, Kate Butler. She has a wonderful network of women. This was the first in her Women Who series, if you will, and it is 20 of us women as coauthors. Each of us had an opportunity to share our unique stories all with the intention of igniting something within the reader. Again, my story’s going to be about hitting that crashing point, feeling like I was drowning, and how to jumpstart to get out of that feeling. Then there are other women who have completely different stories that are there to ignite some sort of passion and drive. It’s available on my website, and it’s just a beautiful series of stories.

Becca Starr: I love it. Yes, to inspire and really reconnect us to our purpose. I love everything you’re doing, Colleen. I am so glad that you were able to be here with me today. Thank you so much.

Colleen Hauk: Thank you, Becca, for having me on. It’s absolutely been an honor and a pleasure and to share this story with your listeners.

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