Good morning, and welcome back to Beautiful You.
My name is Becca Starr, and I am here to remind you of how beautiful and perfect you already are. You don't need to do much, you just need to remember, and I give you some very cool strategies to tap into your potential and share it with others and love yourself, and love the people in the world around you.
Today's episode is very special. I am taking it from a private Facebook group that we have of women entrepreneurs, and that is Your Life, Designed. You can find it if you do a search over there at Facebook.
We talk about how to get motivated and get into motion when you are not feeling it. There are three strategies I give you here, so let's jump right in.
So, if you're lacking motivation, I'm going to guess there is something you know you want to do. Maybe you feel like you should be doing it, or you're feeling bad about not doing it.
A lot of times with that, it's not that you have no clarity about what you really want. Maybe you're just low on energy and you need to do something that's going to help you lift up your energy a little bit.
Maybe you don't know exactly what the very next thing is to do. But, whatever the reason, you're not motivated. I'm going to give you three ways to get in touch with that motivation, and help you hopefully get into some action and stay in action.
Let's just assume you know that you want to be doing something different. There's something you want to be doing, but you're just not doing it.
Besides knowing there's something you want to do, there's three things to know. It's really going to help you get in touch with more than just a feeling and feeling like, "Okay, I'm ready to take action today."
That's very unrealistic for many people. Oftentimes, we're taking action even when we're not feeling like it. We do it for far less purposeful things.
We do things that we are responsible for, we feel like we should be doing, but really, they're not as meaningful to us, and we're spending a lot more time and energy with those things than we are on the things that are really important and meaningful and will make a difference in our lives and probably the lives of other people.
So, let's talk about the three things I want you to know.
The first thing to know and to remember is that you will never feel ready. If you think that that moment is going to come at some time where, “Okay, everything's perfect. I'm ready, let's do this.” - that is so rare and uncommon like a freaking unicorn.
That is not how successful people do things. It really truly isn't. Nothing will ever be perfect.
Now, there's a fear about not feeling ready for something, and that might be that you might fail, or what if you make this huge mistake, and you're building something, and then you realize, “Oh my God. I don't even like this. I spent all this time and energy and I started this whole business or put all of this effort…” and then there's that disconnect, that feeling like, “I don't even want this.”
I think if you're lacking motivation before you get to that point of being in the motion, the fear may be, and what might be holding you back is thinking, "I don't feel ready. I don't even know. What if I change my mind along the way, or what if I fail? What if this doesn't work out?"
I want you to know with all of those thoughts, you're right. You will never feel ready, you will fail, and you will change your mind.
What I started with in January of 2017, knowing I needed to do something, and I couldn't go back to the spa business, but I needed more fulfillment in the sense of what I'm bringing to the world. Not so much with my children and being a mom, because that was really what my world was, and for as long as that was, it was okay.
Then it became not okay, and I was discontent, but I didn't really know what to do, because my experience was with the spa industry and owning spas and doing body work, and that work that I knew I didn't want to go back to. And physically, I couldn't do massage anymore, so I had to find something else. This is what I discovered.
I started to get educated. I received certifications. I received the main certification for life coaching and I've continued on. I'm still learning so much, and now I'm learning more about online programs and this whole modern day delivery of services to you guys from my laptop and my home to your home and where you are.
I am always learning, but here's the thing. In January of 2017, when I decided I was going to be a life coach and I started the certification program, it resonated and I knew, "Oh, my gosh. I so want to do this." But there's these fears of “Will I be good at it? And what if I do all of these certifications, I spend all this time, and I'm not successful, and I change my mind? How is that going to feel?”
It brings up a lot of fear before you're actually in something.
I want to tell you that I have had many failures since January of 2017 and way before that, but that's the only way I've gotten better and more successful - like really, truly, deeply more successful, and reached into what is my life purpose, what I am supposed to be doing.
The only way that I've gotten there is by starting before I was ready, by failing a few times and then some, and by changing my mind. So, all of those things that might be holding you back, I just want you to know that you're going to experience those things. Have the knowledge that it's going to happen.
Don't think that by doing it, those things aren't going to happen, so let's put that fear out on the table. Because, I really find that my episodes on my podcast about overcoming perfection and all the things where I talk about needing things to be just right before we get going, those are really, really highly listened to. Those are like at the top of the charts for the most listened-to episodes. I find that I have experience with that, but I can be much more of a doer.
I know what it feels like, though, and I just want you to know you're not going to fuck up. And if you do, every other successful person that's actually making a difference in this world has also fucked up.
So please just know you are never going to feel ready.
How do you want to experience life in a year from now? Really, because in a year from now if you haven't started what you really want to do, it's probably going to feel worse. It doesn't get better if you don't do anything.
So, those are just some things. Planting some seeds, there. Just know that.
The second: you don't need to know the whole big plan. You just need to know what your very next step is.
You don't need to know all of the steps. You don't need to know, “This is the vision I have. This is where I want to get to. This is my goal, so how am I going to get there.”
Okay, scratch that whole thought process. You can have a five-year plan. You can have a long-term ideal, vision, and what you really, truly want and what would make the most fulfilling purpose in your life for you, but really, all you need to know is, “What is my next step?”
And if you can just, even by talking to somebody else or feeling an inspiration and actually just taking that one step... Through the Bitmor Method, I teach about micro-actions, and if you only take one micro-action a day, you will get so much further than you can even imagine in a much shorter amount of time.
Micro-actions for me... I like to feel very inspired. I shouldn't say that, because we don't have to wait for this great inspiration. I like to just trust any inspiration that I get.
Don't question it, and just take that one. If something logically makes sense... “You know what, I have to file my DBA or I have to just think of the context of what is the way that I'm going to reach my clients or exactly what do I do next…”.
“I want to open up a store. Do I have to go to the city hall?” “Okay, I want to grow a business I already have. What micro-action can I take today? Why don't I reach out business-to-business to another company and just communicate in that way, but trust it and do it?”
You'll notice, these two first ways to get past any motivation requires courage, and that is something I'm trying to let you know logically how things work, but also so that it taps into the strength and the courage that you already have, and just feels stronger than the fear.
Because, right now, if you're not feeling motivated, really, that's a lot of fear. For some reason, that's holding us back usually. So just get stuff into your head. All of this is things I want you to know.
I want you to know that you'll never be ready and I want you to know only what your next step is, and just do that one step.
The very last thing, the third thing I want you to know, is why it's so meaningful. You may have heard, there's a book... I haven't read it, but - Know Your Why.
There's so many things out there. I've done a lot of things on just knowing why something is so important to you.
If you know why something is so important to you, that's going to start to be bigger and conquer the fear. When what we want to do means so much to us and we don't ever forget why it is so meaningful, we're able to get up every day and do more to get to this vision.
My vision is to help young teens. Really, I want to help women entrepreneurs to start and grow businesses. Why I am doing it is because I had a pretty shitty childhood and no one believed in me. I don't feel sorry for myself, because now I see, oh my gosh, any pain has a purpose.
Sometimes when I hear things in the world that are so nonsensical, I'm like, "Yeah, screw that. Pain doesn't have a purpose." But for me, personally, my pain has a purpose and there was a reason. At this point in my life I'm able to take all of the stuff that didn't feel good, and I know that, I could tell firsthand, I can share an experience and skills and tools to let young women know that somebody believes in them, and here are the skills you need to be an entrepreneur in this world or to be successful.
To literally go into juvenile detention centers or women's prisons. And I have a scholarship program I've been developing because it's so- I can't spend all my time on that, because, really, this is my business and this is what I want to do.
But the why of why I'm doing it is because I know I can help you. I know I can help women.
I know that if no one's ever told you that they believed in you, I am here to be that person.
If you can't remember today how beautiful and perfect that you are, I am here to tell you you are so perfect and beautiful already. You do not need to do much. You just need to tap into that potential.
I am here to give you skills to do that. And furthermore, for me, to get even deeper, the only way I can really make a charitable foundation be big enough where I can reach young women in a way that I have a successful business - I have a successful purpose, that scholarship program, then I know that I will keep going.
Today, I'll keep going. And getting my message to you is so important to me, and that's my why. Those are some of my whys.
But if you know why you are doing what you're doing, when you have days where you're just not feeling it. Take a rest. Take a break, but get back to it.
If you watch that last episode, being tenacious is a very important, the number one skill you need to be successful. I just want you to not just know that something's important to you and let it stop there.
You know something's important to you, you're not feeling motivated, you're not taking any actions. Okay, you know something's important to you and you're letting it stop there.
But why not know a few other things. Know you're never going to feel ready. Know you're going to screw up. You know you're going to change your mind along the way. You know that every successful venture, every successful woman, every successful business, has experienced that as well. You wouldn't be alone, and you'd be in great company.
I want you to know why it's so meaningful to you, and the only thing you really, really, really need to know is what is the very next step. That's it. What is one thing - what's the very next step I can do right now that will help me get closer to my goal? That's it. That's all you need to know.
So, I wanted to give you a few suggestions, because these are always so helpful for me and I think that they might help you:
I personally love two memberships. One of them is Female Entrepreneur Association (FEA). Lots of great strategies.
And then the other membership I would recommend, especially if you're interested in blogging or doing blogging, is called PursuitHQ. It's Melyssa Griffin, M-E-L-Y-S-S-A Griffin, and she has an affordable membership program and also lots of really great resources.
So, those two provide resources, support. FEA supplies the accountability partner match-ups and challenges. Challenges are really, really great. If you're feeling uninspired and unmotivated and lacking energy, join a challenge.
I also have the Bitmor Challenge. I'll put the link in the comments below. The Bitmor Challenge is great. It's five days, and all of these things that I'm talking about are literally about breaking it down into micro-actions.
Thank you so much for joining me. Let me know if you have any questions, where you're lacking motivation, what you really are experiencing.
Just walk through that fear. Write about it, and let me know if there's some specific way I can help you through that. Don't waste another day. You're too valuable to this world. Get in your strength and your courage. You got this.