The #1 Skill You Need to Be Successful (at ANYTHING)

self-care success skills Jun 12, 2018

Welcome back, to Beautiful You. My name is Becca Starr, and I'm your host.

I am here to remind you of how perfect and beautiful you already are. You don't need to do much, but I do give you a few very cool strategies to tap into your potential and really live it, and feel it, and be in it quicker and easier than you ever thought possible.

I am so excited to be back here with you guys today. I have been without a laptop or my microphone because of some serious technical difficulties. But, the silver lining is that they were both under warranty, literally 15 days within the warranty expiration date.

I just did some Facebook lives in my private group this week, and this topic came up. If you were in that group and you attended my Facebook live or you have seen the recorded version, then just know you are going to get some other cool takes on the same subject matter. So, let's jump right in and get started with this.

There is one, the number one skill that you need to be successful. Absolutely, there is number one. However, you probably have figured out you probably need quite a few skills to be successful. So, what are they, and what comes close to number one, but it's just not quite there?

One of the very first things I can tell you as an entrepreneur, to be successful, you must have proper self-care. You must prioritize yourself, take care of yourself, put yourself first.

 

Put. Yourself. First.

If you put yourself first, others will begin to make you a priority and others will unknowingly put your business first. There is something that happens when you take care of yourself.

I understand, because as a woman who multitasks and does a lot and takes care of other people and loves my business and just goes, goes, goes, goes - it is really hard to do this one. It's so hard, which is why I am throwing it at you right away. You have to have really great self-care.

So, what does that mean? It could mean turning off your cellphone and being focused in the moment. It could mean getting a really good night's sleep, not just tonight, but every night. It might mean having a cup of tea or meeting somebody for lunch, taking care of yourself socially.

However you feel you might be lacking in the self-care department, focus on that stuff and know that by taking the time to do that, you're not taking time away from your ability to earn, or learn, or be a part of the world in the career or entrepreneurial sense.

By taking care of yourself and being balanced in this way, you're actually going to show up in a way bigger way.

Which brings me to another skill that you must have as an entrepreneur. It's so important, but it's not the number one skill. That would be your level of confidence.

 

And Watch Your Confidence Increase

Self-care is going to help you be more confident. Doing esteemable acts will help you increase your self-esteem.

With the idea of confidence, it's really important to mention here that in all of the research I have done in everyone, man and woman, that I have spoken to on an honest, vulnerable, intimate level, every single super powerful, awesome force in this world feels insecure. And that's okay.

You can still be confident even though you feel insecure. Whatever your fears are, your doubts, your tendencies to be critical of yourself, whatever you have to do to quiet down that criticism, that critical negative thinking...

Usually it's automatic and so just be aware of the situations. You start to have these automatic negative thoughts. Just be really aware of when it happens because you might find that it happens in similar situations, and quiet that voice.

Maybe replace it with some power statements. Write some awesome power statements down on blank index cards and read them when you wake up in the morning. Read them before you go to bed at night. Get them in your brain. Carry them around. Carry a couple around in your purse, or in your car, or hang it by your fridge, or wherever you might be throughout your home or your desk.

Just know that you are embodying what you put out there. In order to be successful, you really need to get over yourself.

You are not the worst and you are not the best. Be confident that you are enough.

Another skill, the third skill I'm going to give you, it is so huge and important. However, again, it's not the number one skill. I'm getting excited because we're getting there.

So, another skill that's really very, very important in this comes from having levels of confidence or even actually doing this would give you ultimately more confidence the more you do it, and that would be public speaking. It's your ability to speak up and speak to others - communication.

 

Speaking Up Is Part Of The Journey

Being really good at this stuff or at least as good as you can be in continuing to get better will serve you for a lifetime. It really is something that will be good for you forever.

If you don't already feel very confident in this area, you don't have experience, and I'm not saying you have to do a podcast, or your Facebook lives, or you may not think of yourself in a situation where it requires that - it doesn't matter.

You need to be able to speak up. Speaking up happens with another person, usually almost every day. And if you are in business, it happens a lot. The better you are at it, the more successful you will be.

So, speaking up, you can get better at by practicing and maybe joining Toastmasters or watching a YouTube video on building confidence or learning how to do public speaking. If you can learn to do that, you can learn the skills required to be good at speaking up. The more that you can do that, the better you're really going to be for a lifetime. It's really one of those kinds of skills.

I'll share one more success skill. There are so many, though. How can I just keep it to just these and not go on for an hour? I literally could do a full-day workshop on success skills, like really very important success skills. I'm leaving so many out because I just want to just keep this within my timeframe of what I like to do for my podcast. I love short and sweet, and still really make an impact in your life today.

But, there are so many. So if you want to hear more and you want me to review or my take on what you really need to be a very successful entrepreneur, just let me know and put it in the comment section on our episode webpage. I would really be very, very happy to. I'll probably even start working on it now. So, you just let me know what you want to hear more of as far as success skills go and we'll get into that in a future episode.

So, one of the skills you really need, and it's so important, we even start learning about it at a very young age... In preschool, I do circle time with my kids and Miss [Chali 00:09:19] and Miss [Teetee 00:09:20] and Miss Celia, they always remind the kids, "This is what you need to do. And how long will you need to know how to do this?" "Forever!" screams all of the four-year-olds.

So, what is this skill that we learn at a young age, we continue to learn through school, and yet so many of us, myself included, still have a hard time with it?

The ability to listen.

 

Listen And Learn As You Lead

The ability to listen is huge. It is really, for some reason, for all people, a very hard skill. And if you think about it, you did start learning it at an early age, but we have so much to say.

And when you're speaking with others, while it's important to speak up and all of that, it is a balance of being able to be the most powerful person in the room, and you do that by taking in more, and forming better conclusions, and asking more questions.

Fear not that you will lose your place in line. You will become more of a leader by your nature when you can own a room like that. I don't know if that's a big leap from where you're starting from, but it is something that will give you more wisdom, which you need.

The way I like to look at it is as a flock of birds. Do you want to be a pigeon on the ground or do you want to be an eagle? An eagle does and says so much less, and yet they are just so powerful. I always imagine I want to be an eagle. I don't want to be a scavenger bird. I don't want to be chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, and yet...

This is such a side note, but sometimes this is why I'm good at a podcast. I can't stop talking. My husband, he has said, "Honey, I could never commit a crime with you." I do take it as a compliment.

But really, what he's saying is, "Just stop. Stop talking." If I'm trying, if I feel nervous or I'm trying to maybe explain something, I guess apparently maybe that means cover up something, but I just can go on, and on, and on, and on. It's probably a nervous thing.

And I grew up knowing and hearing, "You have the gift of gab." I think that might be why it is that balance of getting really good at listening and to be a really great coach. That is something that has helped me so much, is knowing I am a better coach the more I listen.

And then, listen more. Ask questions. Just keep asking questions. Listen more. And trust this is probably something you might experience as the long game. It's not something you may feel immediate benefits from. But trust, trust, trust. It is a skill you want to have.

So with all of those... Let's see, we talked about self-care, confidence, the ability to speak up, and to listen.

Now, I'm going to give you the number one skill. Just to let you know, if you are a woman entrepreneur and you haven't yet listened to or watched the Facebook live episode that we did a few days ago, check it out because there are other skills I talk about in there.

You know, everything's live, so I'm saying it in a different way and you might get some really great gems out of that one. Please head on over there and just request to be a member of that community. It's a wonderful, strong, supportive community, and I'd love to have you over there. You can find us at facebook.com/groups/yourlifedesigned.

Now, dun da da da. Drum roll, please. I have the number one skill that you must have. You really need to go deep for this one and just always stay in touch with it.

That skill is tenacity.

 

Tenacity Is The Essence

Tenacity is the thing that you need to be successful. Tenacity is the thing that is what's going to set you apart from being successful or not being successful. If you have tenacity, you will be successful.

If you don't have this ability, chances are you will not reach this level of success that you might envision. Not that you won't be happy and you can't be happy, but when you want to be successful, you must, must be tenacious. That just really means don't ever give up.

I tried to think of any other word that might describe what this is. Tenacity is it. I mean, resilience you need. You need to be able to continue to get up, and show up, and never give up, and all of that. That's all going into what this means.

And yet, this one word, if you can write a power statement with this one word, "I am more tenacious today than I have ever been. I am the most tenacious person I know. I have tenacity."

Remember. Look it up. Get the dictionary out and look up this word. You want to be this word.

When I think back to all of the successes I've ever had in my entire life, in 20 years, let's say, I can think back to every single personal and professional success. It has all come back to this skill.

You need all these other skills. You need to have a multitude of skills to be especially an entrepreneur. You absolutely need to be good at a lot of things and know what you're good at, know what you're not good at. But, this ability to have tenacity is what is going to make or break you.

If you need to rest, you rest, but you get back up. If you need to just take a couple of days of a break or you go on a week vacation, you enjoy every moment.

But then what? You get back up. You have a hard night. You cry yourself to sleep. Life is hard. I get it.

You wake up in the morning, and now what? You always ask yourself, "What's next?". Don't ever, ever give up.

If you can do this, rest when you need to, but remember, it's what's going to get you to any place you really, really, really want to be at. Just don't ever lose sight that this is the skill that you need.

Do you agree with me? I would love to know what other skills do you think you must have. There's a lot of important ones, I know. And I know things are going to be challenging. They are, no matter what.

You could be living your day-to-day, familiar, same old, same old life. You could be living an extremely fulfilling, beautiful, extraordinary life. Either way, you're going to have challenges, and either way you're going to need tenacity.

If you don't have it, it gets easier and easier to let life have its way with you. I want you to be able to make choices, and make better choices, and bigger choices, and have more choices that you feel really, really, really good about the direction you're heading and the stops you're making along the way.

I hope you have a beautiful day. I really believe in you, and I know how beautiful and perfect you already are. Thank you, my love. I will see you next time.

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